Robin & The Rigbys

for as long as i can remember, i’ve always wanted to fit in. i’ve always wanted to dress a certain way and behave a certain way so i could feel like a part of something. i’ve always felt like i was a superfluous puzzle piece in this sketch of the world. and i’ve thought of myself like this for a long time. 

it isn’t until now, really, that i understand that i am cared for and that in fact i have belonged all along. i had this epiphany tuesday night as i was writing in an old piece that i began when i was around the age of fifteen. now, it will sound absolutely ridiculous, but seeing these peers of mine react to my interactions with my significant other made me see that in their eyes, i was a part of their family.

i have always been a part of their family. and it dawned on me when my friend told me that the reason they aww’d was because they had never seen me with a boy before, and that their reactions were more of pride than anything. and i came to the daunting conclusion that i am cared for, and that this sense of belonging that i was constantly in search for was already in my numb hands. 

many things cross my mind as i sit alone in my room. many things that i cannot possibly tell of them all.